Letter To My Delighted Sister In Christ
Dear Rachel
There is no way to express my delight at what I read in your last letter. He finally asked for your hand in marriage! God has answered your prayer and ours!
You cannot imagine how much thanks I’ve given to God since I found out.
Not only do I remember this with a grateful heart, I was recalling the journey you were led through till today. I still clearly remember one of the earlier letters I had written to you. Those days when you were gripped with grief.
But those days have passed. Things look different today. And for that, I’m thankful.
Next to my surprise at your engagement, the poem he wrote for you made me literally exclaim in delight. More than that, I greatly appreciate the trust that you show by sharing the poem with me.
His heart for you seems to be in the right place, but even I know he needs to polish his poetic skills. I mean no offense of course.
Nevertheless, this stanza was my favourite:
A raging tempest, a stormy sea
Feeling breathless,
With all that’s inside of me.
Oh! How I long for one to show my love,
I wait for one, on whom I can pour out my affections.
And then you came.
Like Adam cried out “At last! Bone of bone, and flesh of my flesh”,
I exclaimed with joy, I rejoiced.
For here, at last, is one, on whom I can shower all my love and affection.
It’s baffling how a man will do anything for his girl. Maybe it’s a flaw. Or maybe it’s a reflection of who God is.
Looking at Ephesians 5, it’s clear that the man ought to cherish and rejoice over his wife like how Jesus does for His bride.
Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that you have no part to play, dear sister. Indeed you have an important role to play for your marriage to flourish. Here’s how one saint put it, “Do for your spouse what God did for you in Jesus, and the rest will follow”**.
That one statement succinctly covers what Ephesians 5 has to say about marriage, the very phase you are stepping into.
Just two more things. And you’ve heard me say this throughout your courtship: Always look to Jesus and refresh yourselves with the gospel. Seek the Lord every day, as a couple and even as a daughter of the Most High God. Order your life around the local church and her mission. Seek to grow alongside your brothers and sisters in Christ.
I know you are sufficiently convinced that the one you marry must be born again, and I’m thankful that he is. I also pray that he will lovingly lead you, keep pursuing you, keep getting to know you, and keep putting you first, just like you would do for him.
I hope that you will show him all the grace at signs of weakness and sin.
Again to quote another saint, “wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love. A wedding should not be primarily a celebration of how loving you feel now — that can be safely assumed. Rather, in a wedding you stand up before God, your family, and all the main institutions of society, and promise to be loving, faithful, and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstances”**.
Finally, I hope that the two of you will grow in friendship. Not the superficial type, but that of deep oneness that develops as you both journey, side-by-side, towards Jesus. Ever growing in love for each other, and being transformed into Christ’s image.
May your marriage be a light in a dark world, and may it bring glory to God.
Yours Lovingly
Ben
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**The quote is taken from “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller.
